Life Without--
by Pixie Dust
Summary: Ch. 3 is up! Another person taken by Voldemort: how far will he go? Can Harry go on? Harry (and others') feelings as life goes on without-
1. Lost thoughts

This is sort-of the beginning of a chapter story...so this isn't everything! But I'll only continue it if people want me to. So read it... (and I hope it isn't too depressing!)   
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November 1   
Harry couldn't get the words to stop repeating in his head.   
  
"Harry," Dumbledore had said seriously, looking him straight in the eyes. "Ron is dead."   
  
"What?" answered Harry not sure he heard correctly.   
  
"Oh my god," said Hermione next to him.   
  
They were in Dumbledore's office.   
  
Harry, starting to clutch at his hair, his face masked with shock and disbelief, managed to ask, "H...h...how?"   
  
Dumbledore replied with one word, "Voldemort."   
  
Harry felt that he didn't need to know more.   
  
It was now 5:00am and Harry, sitting on his bed in his dark dormitory, had received the news 4 hours ago. Since then he didn't sleep a wink. How could he? Now in his seventh year at Hogwarts he had only been apart from Ron during summer vacation. But even then he was always invited to the Weasleys'. Now he knew that he would never see Ron again. Anger like never before flowed through him. But even more than that was sadness. Dreadful sadness. He felt like he couldn't take it anymore.   
  
This was the final straw.   
  
Harry ran his hands over his face. He wondered how Hermione was handling this.   
  
But at least she hasn't lost anyone else close to her in her life like that, Harry thought, thinking of his parents and even how Sirius has been struggling all these years.   
  
I'm going to kill Voldemort if it's the last thing I do, thought Harry before falling into a restless sleep.   
  
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Meanwhile Hermione was thinking about what she had heard, too.   
  
This is unbelievable, she thought. What was even the last thing I said to him? Oh yeah...   
  
'Well, I'm really tired. I'm going to go to sleep. And Ron? Here's a helpful hint. Maybe you'll pass that potions test tomorrow if you actually study,' she said teasingly.   
  
'Gee, thanks Hermione,' he had responded, 'I never thought of that. You're a genius!' But before she had left the common room he added, 'Goodnight.'   
  
This, she thought to herself, well there's just no other word for it...this sucks. It's totally unfair! Not just to Harry, the Weasleys, or me but to Ron as well!! This is just so horridly mind-boggling.   
  
He was my best friend! He was a person with feelings too! And his life was cut short...tears were threatening to spill over again. Hermione wondered how Harry was managing this.   
  
This must be especially hard for him...she thought putting her head reluctantly on her pillow.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
Well, what do y'all think? I wrote this ages ago but never found time to post it up. So, voila! - Here it is.   
Tell me if y'all want to see more to this story -or just what you think of it.   
I'll be posting up chapter two soon........   
xoxo-   
Pixie Dust 


	2. Feeling a bit queasy

A.N.: All Harry Potter characters, the Hogwarts School, and anything else Harry Potter-related, belongs to J.K. Rowling, the amazing author of the amazing Harry Potter series!  
When a sentence/phrase has these * * surrounding it, it means it is the characters thoughts. (Just to steer clear of any confusion...)   
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Hermione woke up to the sound of her alarm clock. *It can't be morning already*, she thought, but looking at her clock it read 7:00am. *Time for another day of school,* she told herself. *Oh goodness...how can I face all those people? I think I'll go check on Harry first. He must be in an awful state. Oh my! I haven't even thought about Ginny! How is she? I have to go see her now! * Hermione quickly dressed, tied her hair back, and ran to Ginny's dormitory. She knocked on the door and one of Ginny's roommates answered.   
"Yes?" she said.  
"Is Ginny there?" Hermione asked urgently.   
"No... I saw McGonagall waking her up earlier this morning. I think she went home. I don't know why, though."  
"Okay, thank you," Hermione replied, a little disappointed that she couldn't talk to Ginny.   
  
  
"I think she went home. I don't know why, though." Hermione recalled what the girl had said. *This means they don't know about Ron!* she put a hand over her mouth. *I think I'll just skip breakfast...* Hermione thought, running to the nearest girls' bathroom.   
  
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Harry slowly opened his eyes but his vision was blurred without his glasses. Still lying in bed he thought of a weird dream he just had. His dream was that Dumbledore had told him Ron was dead... *...no, Ron wasn't dead. It was just a dream.* Harry laughed softly to himself. *It was just a dream...* But he couldn't shake off that terrible feeling of dread in the back of his head.  
*Ron isn't dead!* Harry told himself. He was going to prove it. He would open the drapes surrounding his bed, and would see Ron getting ready for school...just like Harry should.   
  
  
*Oh no! What time is it?* Harry thought. He quickly put on his glasses and looked at the clock next to his bed.   
10:34am it read. *10:34???* On a thursday morning, without a doubt someone would have woken him up! His clock must be all wrong....  
  
  
He immediately opened the drapes and found everyone gone from his dormitory.   
  
  
*But it was just a dream,* Harry told himself. *It was a just dream... ... Voldemort didn't kill Ron! Ron is alive! He has to be! Ron is....* but Harry knew it wasn't true.   
  
  
*Oh god, I think I'm gonna be sick,* thought Harry, lying back down again.   
  
  
*How could I do this to my best friend? How could I let this happen? This is all my   
fault.....all my fault...*.....Harry firmly shut his eyes, eventually falling back to sleep.  
  
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The Gryffindors were sitting in the History of Magic classroom listening to Professor Binns drone on and on. Hermione, though, was thinking of other things.   
  
  
After breakfast, everyone knew about Ron's death. Since Hermione had skipped breakfast for that very reason, everyone had told her how sorry they were in the halls between classes.   
  
  
*It's okay... I'll get through this... one minute to the next...* Hermione had been telling herself.   
  
  
Now, she was staring at her blank piece of parchment, not able to look at anyone.   
Her thoughts wandered to Harry....*I wonder where he is? It's already 12:00 and it's a half an hour till lunchtime. Well, Seamus did say that Professor McGonagall thought it best to let him sleep a little longer and take the day off from schoolwork......goodness, if only I could speak to him. I guess I'll see him at lunch. If only I could see Ron at lunch. No! Hermione, you will stop thinking like that! There was nothing you could do!! Nothing!* Tears were preparing to fall. *Oh god, I can't just stay here,* she thought. *I got to get out of here before I go mad. I'll just quickly go to the bathroom down the hall, and pull myself together.* So, startling everyone, Hermione abruptly stood up, and ran out of the room.   
  
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Harry awoke again, at 12:25. He absentmindedly got out of bed, put on his robes, unnecessarily brushed a comb through his hair, and left his dormitory to go and face the music. He looked at his watch, and it read 12:35. *Oh great,* Harry thought, *lunch started 5 minutes ago. I bet everyone's there.*   
  
  
He walked down through the silent, empty halls. He took a deep breath, and entered the Great Hall. The room, once filled with students talking, immediately was soundless at Harry's arrival. Every eye was on Harry. He instantly turned around, and walked right back through the doors that he had just entered barely a minute before.   
  
  
He heard someone calling his name, but he didn't care. He kept on walking letting his feet lead.   
"Harry! Harry, stop!" It was Hermione running after him. She finally caught up with him, laid a hand on his shoulder, and turned him around to face her.  
"Where do you think you're going? What just happened in there?" Hermione asked him.   
"I...I don't know," he told her truthfully. "I couldn't go in there, and act like nothing happened. Besides, did you see how everyone stopped what they were doing and just stared at me??" He suddenly gripped his forehead.  
"Harry, what is it? Is it your scar? Want me to get Professor Dumbledore?"  
"No, Hermione," Harry said bitterly. "It's just a headache. You know? Like what normal people get sometimes?"  
"Oh Harry!" she said, a little embarrassed, but she continued. "I'm upset too. Everyone is. You especially know how hard it is. I'm feeling just like you! But please don't take your anger out on anyone. The only person you have a right to be angry at is You-Know-Who. So will you just talk to me? Please?"  
"I'm sorry Hermione," Harry said a pained look on his face, "I gotta go."  
"You have got to go where?" Hermione asked unconvinced. "Come on Harry! Just talk to me! Don't avoid me!" Her voice was becoming weak. "I think... I think it would just be easier to get through this together."  
"I'm sorry, Hermione," Harry said again. "But I just want to be alone now." He stared at the floor. "I...I..."he let out a breath. "I'll just see you later, okay?"  
"Yeah, of course. But Harry," she grasped his hands. "Please, talk to me. Sooner than later." He nodded and turned around to go back to his dormitory. *I'm sorry Hermione,* Harry said over and over again in his head. *I'm not ready to talk now. I'm not ready to face anyone.* Harry had no clue what he was going to do once he was back in his dormitory. He thought, *at least I'll miss the potions test.* But needless to say, that didn't cheer him up one bit.  
  
  
  
Back in his dormitory Harry took out the photo album that he had received from Hagrid, nearly seven years before. He looked at the happy faces of his parents and wondered *why?* *Why, mum? Dad? Why is this happening? Please, don't let him take away everything I have. Everyone I've ever cared for. Please...* silent tears running down his face, he continued to gaze at all that was left of his parents; the memories.   
  
  
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There'll be more chapters if people like the story-so tell me what you think. Good, bad, short, long, needs improvement, anything!   
(And I know it was depressing this time, but I guess that's the type of story it is.)  
I know this is going slow, but I think it's important that the reader knows everything that the character is feeling. I hope you feel the same way too.   
  
How did Ron die? What's going to happen to Harry and Hermione's friendship? How do others react to Ron's death, and Harry? Hmmm...guess ya'll have to find out!  
  
So, I hope you like the story (so far)!  
xoxo,  
Pixie Dust 


	3. Change

November 2  
  
"Ah, so Mr. Potter decided not to show up for class again, has he?" Snape asked the class nastily.  
  
  
The Gryffindors and Slytherins were in the dungeons for their first class of the day, on an extremely chilly friday morning. They were brewing a very horrible smelling, Stink Remedy potion.   
  
  
No one said anything in response to Snape's remark.   
  
  
"He most certainly can not stay cooped in his dormitory forever! Now really, he is seventeen yeas old," Snape began lecturing the class. "In my opinion, he shouldn't be in his dormitory crying like a baby; he should be in class and acting like a man!"  
  
  
*Honestly, he has no life.* Hermione thought. *And why can't he keep his good for nothing comments to himself? He knows Harry isn't like that! How can Harry get over something like losing his best friend in only one day! Of course it's as hard for me... but doesn't Snape have a heart? I thought Snape was against You-Know-Who too. Why is he taunting Harry like this? Were James Potter and Snape really enemies this bad?? Oooh, if I could curse Snape right now. I know the perfect one...*   
  
  
It seemed that all the Gryffindors had the same thought running through their mind: Cursing Snape. The anger that had been stored in them for seven years was clearly showing on their faces. The Slytherins weren't laughing at Snape's comments either, though. They were just looking down at their cauldrons. *At least they know when to keep their mouth shut,* Hermione thought. In fact... were Hermione's eyes playing tricks on her? Draco Malfoy was actually looking a little remorseful. *Well, deep down there was always some good in Malfoy,* Hermione contemplated. *That was obvious to everyone. He's finally escaping some of his father's dominance.* She remembered the conversation she had with Harry and Ron last year: (flashback)  
  
  
"Don't his mudblood comments become a little old?" Hermione asked Ron after Draco had just given her another usual insult.   
  
" 'Course. But Hermione, haven't you seen how he's also loosing some of his ...um... coldness? He says those things without much... how can I put it? ....without much feeling. Like he's just doing it out of obligation. You sort of understand what I mean?" he responded.   
  
"Hmm... that's true.," Then as if a light bulb had clicked in her had. "Wow! That's very true. How come I haven't noticed it before? Ron! I can't believe it!"   
  
Harry started laughing, "So, this is what Hermione is like when she learns something new."  
  
"Harry, this is big!," Hermione said. "This means... wait, is Malfoy a Death Eater?"  
  
"Probably," said Harry coldly.   
  
"Hermione, just watch Malfoy a little more closely. You'll notice some changes. I guess he's stopped listening to his dad," Ron added.   
  
"Oooh, has Ron been watching Malfoy closely?" Harry teased him. Ron had punched him lightly in the shoulder as a retort.  
  
  
(Flashback done)  
  
  
"Hermione, just watch Malfoy a little more closely. You'll notice some changes. I guess he's stopped listening to his dad," Ron had told her. *Yes, Ron.* Hermione said to herself. *I guess he has stopped listening to his dad. I have noticed changes, Ron. Is it too late?* She looked over at Draco. He was just poring some ingredients into his potion. He looked so defenseless. *This is so weird.* she thought. *Am I actually feeling sorry for Draco? Or happy for his changes? What am I thinking? Who would've thought...?*  
  
  
"So, as I was saying," Snape continued.   
  
  
"Oh, please! I've had enough," someone said. *Oh my goodness! Who would be that bold to say that to Snape?* Hermione thought.   
"Excuse me, Mr.Longbottom?" Snape said. *NEVILLE?? Neville said that!?* Hermione thought her mind would explode.   
"Can't you give him a break? Have you even thought about what he's been through? He is not a child! He is one of the bravest people...he..." Neville was becoming nervous from everyone watching him. Surprisingly, though, he continued. "He barely has anyone left! You want to know the truth? He has no one left! He only has this school. This school is his everything. Now that even his school life is being torn apart can you imagine his life?" Neville was on a role, and he wasn't going to stop. "He never wanted any of this. He just wants to be a normal person. And I can't just stand here while you degrade him, with no reason!" Neville's face was red when he finished. Not red from humiliation, but red from being breathless by his 'speech.'  
  
  
But Snape's face was red. Very red. No one could tell if he was more enraged or embarrassed.   
  
  
The Gryffindors were resisting the urge to clap for Neville. It seems that he had finally found some of his inner strength and nerve. Hearing that from Neville was astonishing! It was also very satisfying. Why else would he be in Gryffindor if he weren't brave? His courage was unquestionably proven.   
  
  
"Lon..ggg...Longbottom!" Snape stuttered angrily. "I...I..." Neville's eyes were starting to be replaced by panic. "Class is dismissed. Everyone get out of my sight!" Snape yelled.   
  
  
Everyone very, very quickly packed their things and ran out of the door.   
  
  
Outside and far from the potions classroom the Gryffindors started clapping and cheering. Shouts such as "Yeah Neville!" or "Way to go!" were heard from everyone. Hermione ran to Neville and gave him a huge hug.  
  
  
"You are a true Gryffindor," she whispered into his ear. " And you are absolutely correct. Thank you." This time Neville did turn red from embarrassment. Hermione broke away. "There's someone I need to go see now. I'll see you later." The rest of the Gryffindors cheered all the way to the common room.   
  
  
*Has Ron's death triggered Neville's courage? And Malfoy's kindheartedness? Maybe even a change Snape's attitude?* Hermione wondered. She walked faster. She urgently needed to see this person. This was too important to slip by.   
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Well? As usual, please review and tell me what you think. I'll hopefully be writing the next chapter soon. That is... if people like the story.   
  
xoxo, Pixie Dust 


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